being inclusive as a nerd

5/3/2016

Lately there has been a lot of nerd on nerd bullying in the news. The release of movies like Batman V Superman and Star Wars: The Force Awakens, has brought these feuds to the forefront yet again. If you don't agree with someone else on a fandom you're shouted down. Not to mention the attacks on female nerds that are still going on, especially in the cosplay community. I wrote this on my own blog back in April of 2012. It is still relevant today.

There is a war going on and we don't even know it. How is that for a first line? The war I am talking about it between the nerds and the so called "fake nerds." It is being fought on the interwebs, on message boards, social media sites, and blogs. Since when have nerds complained about having people that are attractive coming into our fold? Why would somebody who is attractive want to face the life of a geek if they did not want to? A lot of my life had I been faced with ridicule and socially awkward situations that come from being a geek, or nerd, or whatever the term is these days. People admit to liking gaming or comics because they like them, not because they think it will make them cool. It is quite the opposite. So to call them posers is ridiculous. What do they have to gain? Being a nerd who has been excluded from most things in their life, we of all people should be the ones saying come on in, the water’s fine. I know we have been hurt, we know the derisive looks that people give us and the patronizing, “Oh you read comic books.” So our first instinct is to want to lash out at the beautiful people, and say “Hey you can’t be a member of our club.” But we need to get over that. We of all people should be accepting of anyone, because we know what it is like to not be accepted by pretty much anyone.

I know a lot of us are socially awkward and have problems having conversations with other people. We would much rather be left alone to read comics or do some gaming. I know for me, years of ridicule and loneliness have gotten me kind of jaded on the whole people thing, and sometimes the old high school insecurities come out when I least want them to, and I am 41. I know what it is like not have many friends. I had one friend through elementary school, through junior high. Before starting high school my parents moved and I started a whole new high school not knowing anyone. I really don’t remember many of the people that I went to high school with. I had more friends when I started working than I ever had at school. But I got through it. I still only have maybe one friend that I hang out with on a regular basis. I am not sure why. Maybe I don’t try hard enough to meet new people. Maybe it is still that feeling that I am not good enough. Anyway the point of this is that I know exclusion, and I have promised myself not to exclude other people, because I would never want them to feel like I did. We of the nerd community need to be accepting of all comers, no matter what they look like or what their geek cred is. Come on in. The water’s fine

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3 Comments

Eros @HuntersRealm link

5/9/2016 10:43:19 am

A very insightful piece here, and something I have been scratching my head about as well. I have to admit, to a certain extent have been guilty of myself. The aspect that I think causes a lot of infighting is the time and freedom of which we live in. Lets take the example of Star Wars episode 7. Now for me, I didn't love it, or to some degree particularly like it. When I voice that opinion, not to be antagonistically but rather as impartial as I can, I get inundated with thoughts of being wrong (even though it is a matter of opinion) or how dare I speak in such a way of the Holy franchise. I think if this were during the Geek Dark AGes, the opinion would have been accepted for what it was, just an opinion, and there would be no real bad blood. Now, because geek culture is getting its long overdue time in the spotlight, any negative responses no matter how minor or major, is viewed as a threat to diminish the culture, and thus its responded to vehemently as an attack on all geek culture. In short, its almost relegated to a "with us or against us" mentality.

As far as as "posers" I think there is two distinctions to be made here. One being the actual posers, (which I will explain in a second.) and ones I would categorize as "bandwagonners" I think we view bandwagoneers as posers, because they watch a movie that introduces them to something new and cool, something we have committed to for years and years, and then they tout themselves as experts just off of one source. If we were smart, in stead of using that as a point to be adversarial about it, we should be using it as a teaching moment to go "if you thought that was cool, you should check this out" and really help usher them to other new and exciting experiences. I think if we looked at it, someone was a catalyst to our fandom, and the movement as it exists now, we have the rare chance and opportunity to do it for others.

As for the actual posers, I really have heartburn of those who present themselves as true geeks, but all it is truly is a way for them to project themselves in their career or to gain money from fans simply because they present themselves as an ideal. I would go to battle with these (perhaps unfairly so) because i think their insincerity to a degree insults something that most of us have committed so much time and love to. I won't throw out any names of who I feel examples of this (mainly because it would be a bit unfair without really knowing, and because for some I have been wrong about in the past) but I can see a little bit of justification in it.

I think it comes down to most of us being scared. Back then, we were so steadfast that what we enjoyed have value that if only it was given a chance then others could see the benefit, and our fandom would be validated. Now, I think we sort of got what we wished for, but now we are worried that the things we grew to love will be augmented and change. We fear change, even though by comparison most nerds and geeks are more freethinking and open minded compared to most. We can't help it, because I think we fear if what we love changes, that will change us or perhaps become unrecognizable to what we first loved. I think if we can hold on to what it was we love, and be open enough to share that with others, we can create quite a beautiful and remarkable community.

Brett DaSilva link

5/15/2016 04:44:48 pm

Star Wars Episode 7 is a hot button topic for a lot of nerds. Myself included. I was the opposite of you though. I went with my sisters to see it and they did not really like it as much as I did. I took offense to it at first. Taking it as a personal affront to myself. Then I took a deep breath and realized I was being an idiot. I think the reason we are so passionate about things as nerds is because in a way we take ownership of the things we love.

I think this is because a lot of what we love was a way of dealing with things, whether it was getting bullied, or losing a girl friend. It gave us something to escape to and help us through difficult times. So in a way it makes these things personal to us, whether it is a movie, comic, book, a game, or even music it is ours, and how dare you say anything bad about it.

But I think that is when your rational brain has to kick in and say, ok these people did not go through the same things as I did or see things the way I did. They are looking at it from a different perspective and that is ok.

There is a reason fan is short for fanatic.

HQ Backlink link

2/26/2023 10:50:39 am

Hi there! Nice stuff, do keep me posted when you post again something like this!

being inclusive as a nerd

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